I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
