We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
BRING THE BAGELS
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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