Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
