I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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