I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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