I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
