I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
