you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize