we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
