New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
