Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am available for nakedness
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