Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize