but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?