another moral hangover. fuck.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend