Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...

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(408): View more from California

You drunk yet?

(925): View more from California

Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

(408): View more from California

Cant make any promises.

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(703): View more from Virginia

apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.

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(758): View more from St. Lucia-Carib

He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.

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(303): View more from Colorado

im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.

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(410): View more from Maryland

How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?

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