i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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