He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Drunk is not a location!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
