i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
