Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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