were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
