he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
