I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
