last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
