So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
