no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
