dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
