so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
