i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
