I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
