Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
