The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
