they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
