There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
