What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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