i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
