Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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