white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
