Can Purell be used as lube?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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