Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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