Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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