I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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