she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
