if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
