I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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