I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
