I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
