I wish I could teleport
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
