you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
