His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize