i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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