I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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