which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
