Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize