just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
