I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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