I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
