I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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