Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize