By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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