There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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