fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Farmville is her only friend.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So much rum. So many feels.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
