At least make sure they are 18
Why
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
