dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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