Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
