Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Acid is not a monday night drug

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  (614): Acid is not a monday night drug http://tfl.nu/0lf0
  Replies (44) Good night (1794) Bad night (4233)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

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  (360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r
  Replies (12) Good night (4574) Bad night (770)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.

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  (847): He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street. http://tfl.nu/tq30
  Replies (7) Good night (3064) Bad night (1116)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"

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  (302): this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time" http://tfl.nu/89ij
  Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (1802)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.

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  (229): I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7ms
  Replies (17) Good night (4472) Bad night (1697)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.

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  (412): I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight. http://tfl.nu/4uel
  Replies (7) Good night (2613) Bad night (798)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?

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  (781): Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink? http://tfl.nu/6hyx
  Replies (6) Good night (2256) Bad night (701)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n

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  (616): at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n http://tfl.nu/8ho6
  Replies (6) Good night (1388) Bad night (814)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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  (715): I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa. http://tfl.nu/2ols
  Replies (2) Good night (1535) Bad night (683)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

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  (910): I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him. (910): Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer. http://tfl.nu/vb0s
  Replies (4) Good night (2203) Bad night (661)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night

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  (931): Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night http://tfl.nu/chyx
  Replies (8) Good night (764) Bad night (1424)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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  (832): Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi http://tfl.nu/cj6k
  Replies (10) Good night (1316) Bad night (958)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.

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  (603): If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines. http://tfl.nu/3y2e
  Replies (22) Good night (2786) Bad night (697)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?

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  (302): Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak? http://tfl.nu/m53g
  Replies (15) Good night (1595) Bad night (461)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK

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  (703): OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK http://tfl.nu/irl1
  Replies (8) Good night (944) Bad night (389)

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