Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
  Replies (51) Good night (2847) Bad night (806)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents

  (636): View more from Missouri

  never have sex?

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  (314): sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents (636): never have sex? http://tfl.nu/1ynn
  Replies (44) Good night (3977) Bad night (659)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.

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  (406): That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/1hw4
  Replies (4) Good night (3029) Bad night (884)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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  (480): Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars. http://tfl.nu/f73b
  Replies (14) Good night (8410) Bad night (893)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3538) Bad night (965)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first

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  (401): I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first http://tfl.nu/owtg
  Replies (24) Good night (6292) Bad night (1203)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.

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  (224): Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds. http://tfl.nu/o3kx
  Replies (7) Good night (1655) Bad night (805)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I regret nothing

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  (702): Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal. (1-702): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/jdko
  Replies (12) Good night (2501) Bad night (562)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.

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  (214): I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere. http://tfl.nu/7002
  Replies (9) Good night (782) Bad night (503)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?

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  (404): Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders? http://tfl.nu/hbxh
  Replies (2) Good night (344) Bad night (1146)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.

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  (541): If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him. http://tfl.nu/336d
  Replies (9) Good night (617) Bad night (718)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.

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  (519): I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person. http://tfl.nu/mw9z
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (241)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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  (+44): Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off. http://tfl.nu/1dmr
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (214)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.

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  (651): Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room. http://tfl.nu/zu20
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (197)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.

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  (806): Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment. http://tfl.nu/1xps
  Replies (7) Good night (814) Bad night (247)

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