My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
