Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize