C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
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So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize