can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
